Square pegs and round holes

I love me some Arial font. Just thought I'd let you know.

I have always prided myself in the fact that I have never quite fit in whatever denominational circle I have been around. I was raised Baptist (Charles Stanley ROCKS!), then went to a UMC church with high school friends, then went all COG--crazy and went to Lee and even joined Campus Choir. Then I went into the nondenominational/charismatic route for a year, went to a Bapticostal church, went back to the nondem/charismatic route, and now am part of a house church.

So for the last 7 years I have been the outsider, able to experience the Pentecostal arm of Christianity but never completely immersed in it. It led to some interesting conversations, I can tell you. I have believed that in some ways I was never supposed to be completely Baptist, or completely Pentecostal. I needed to be a hybrid, so no one could pigeon-hole me into one category and I could have standing with these 2 groups of believers that sometimes have some real issues with each other.

But things can get a little lonely when you won't join a crowd. The questions now come: who do I get licensed with? If I was to pastor, who for? Anybody? A denomination? Independent? None are better/worse than the other, but now no one really wants you unless you swear loyalty to their way of thinking. I have been told this in a classroom; one professor stated that if you didn't believe in the denomination's doctrines 100%, you had no business being a minister in that denomination. I won't enter into that debate, but needless to say it has stuck with me ever since, and I feared the hundred or so students in the room that may become future church leaders that will take that and demand the same kind of absolute loyalty from their flocks. I digress....

I am currently looking at independent options, like the NEA and others to get licensure. I don't care for the piece of paper, I just want the legal standing to work in hospitals, marry people, etc.

The certainity of the career path I had:
1. Get a "calling"
2. Go to college
3. Get ordained
4. Get a church job

It's no longer viable, not because it's a bad path but because steps 3 and 4 don't fit with my theology right now, and I don't know if they ever will again.

So it then leads to the next discussion: what do I do for money? A pastoral degree isn't going to net alot of cash in the secular world; not that I ever wanted a lot of cash, but I do want to take care of my growing family and avoid debt. I don't want to go to school again, I have enough school loans for that.

Is your head spinning yet?